Chaos, A.D.

In the land of the rice and tea, there is another mystical substance that is a daily observance; chaos.

From the moment, I walk out of my apartment, to the moment I walk back in, there is a petri dish (figuratively and literally) of commotion. Talking, honking, yelling, shuffling, staring, smoking, walking, fanning, squatting and about 1,000 other "ings".

From the child pooping on the sidewalk, to the old woman staring at the street, to the churning of the transit buses, life is chaotic. Yet, the Chinese don't seem to mind. They live day by day, in this shoulder to shoulder world.

For me, this all equals exhaustion but to the Chinese, it is just another day. They don't seem to mind getting jostled around the bus or the waiting or the pushing. They don't even blink an eye when pedaling down the street and up onto the sidewalk. They do tai chi with megaphones blaring in the background. The sounds alone are enough to make you go crazy, but the added sights and smells make it all the more lively.

So, another day comes to an end in the Middle Kingdom. Tomorrow, I will likely wake up to the sound of woman chattering in the garden, or a buzz saw whining on metal in the nearby construction or they myriad of other distractions and pleasantries that are China.

Showered with Gifts

This Wednesday, September 10, was Teacher's Day in China. A much bigger event than back in the U.S. I was hoping that I would receive something special from my students, but was actually blown away at the hospitality of the day.

First, a rousing "Happy Teacher's Day!" during my first class. My second class, responded with one of their own, and a coffee mug. Another class, gave me a pen and a pen/pencil holder for my desk. I was treated to lunch by students, dinner by my liaison, and then received a tour of the local government headquarters.

The latter, a bit like walking in the novel 1984, had me nervous but also elated when I saw their gym. Which I can apparently use for free now, as long as I meet the right people. Ping pong for an hour or so, and then free moon cakes in celebration of this weekend's Mid-Autumn Festival.

Now, these mooncakes are not as good as they may seem. I had a berry one and a horse-foot one last night. Yes, horse foot. On the other hand, the hospitality is unlike anything I've ever experienced. It is pleasant and at the same time alarming. For I know it would be simple to take advantage of. And yes, many Americans and other "laowai" or foreigners do!

Those expats are akward people. Some, I imagine, come to China to live the life a celebrity. The constant whispering, giggling and staring, most likely make them feel important. Insecure much?

The freebies you can get by being a foreigner, are anything but few and far between. At the bar, you can be treated to shot after shot, if you desire. But, I have found that it is best to not overuse this phenomenon. Maybe it is karma that I believe in, but I feel guilty. Signing autographs after class could make you feel a little too much like Angelina Jolie, but it is also in a way disgusting.

Why do the Chinese feel that it is so important for Americans to be here? Why are we seen as the epitome of beauty? Granted, I don't mind it when my students tell me how handsome I am, but why is that?

Maybe this is something I will discover as time goes by. Until then, I will maintain stay clear of abusing this "special treatment", as much as possible.

Feeding Time

I never thought how impossible it could seem to be able to feed yourself. With the assortment of foods here, everything seems more like ingredients than anything else. Onions, carrots, potatoes, garlic, bell peppers (of course!), tomatoes. All are staples here, along with rice, noodles and watermelons. The latter, is a typical dessert at most dinners.

Of course, having these ingredients does not make it terribly easy to cook. I have found that the majority of dishes here are similar. Beef with peppers and MSG. Noodles with some veggies, peppers and MSG. My favorite dish, a beef and pepper combo that tastes similar to taco meat, is quite delicious. But not everyday.

To save money, shopping in the open-air market is the way to go. Sure, you can find almost anything you need at Wal-Mart or Metro, but it will cost you. Everything is expensive. Oatmeal, is the only imported food I have bought thus far. Extra virgin olive oil is ridiculously priced and the oil used (liberally) here is not the healthiest.

So, the quest to make the perfect meal continues. While I have nearly managed to duplicate an egg plant dish you find on the street. I long for the days of nachos and pizza. Though, I am planning on refraining from McDonalds and KFC (which is everywhere!) as long as possible.

The Thing About China Is...

You can go from bliss to complete frustration in a matter of seconds. The inability to read the language is frustrating. The different Mandarin accents of Putonghua and Changshahua are noticeable to me, even though I cannot understand the words. The people are bent on helping you, but at times it is annoying because you realize that they cannot help you and instead are wasting your time.

Of all the things in China, the incessant honking and the non-stop crowding and pushing (in lines, to the bus, etc.) are hitting the hardest. How can it be, that a Communist nation, faces such problems with inefficiency?

I have relegated to the fact that with 1.3 billion people, their is little to be done to make sure people use crosswalks. There is little to be done to introduce tact (or dental floss for that matter). There is little to be done to reduce the fact that people bathe and kill fish in the same place. Most likely, the sidewalk outside of their house/restaurant or store/house or Mahjong gambling shop/house. The Chinese literally shit where they eat.

It is a filthy, disgusting, stinky place. Yet it is mesmerizing and in some respects very American. But, when you walk past the child pissing in the drainage ditch, or see the thousands of frogs bagged up for slaughter at the market, or dodge the woman throwing out dish/cooking water onto the street, you realize that "developing" is an understatement.

China is at a break-neck pace to become the world's lone superpower and in the process, there is little time for cultural sophistication to catch up with technological and economic prowess.

First Day of Class

I am met with applause as I enter the classroom. 60 sets of eyes focused on the American now standing in front of them. They giggle behind soft eyes and glance away and poke at their friends. Nervous, elated and uncertain all at the same time.

My first question, a wry and sarcastic, " what time does the class start?" arouses laughter. It takes me little time to realize that most (if any) of the students in the class speak English or understand the question. The next 45 minutes promises to be a learning experience.

I introduce them to the rules of the class. "English only" as number one. Maybe I should rethink that and begin using what little Chinese I know. Immediately I am relieved at how well they follow reading off of the board in unison. As I walk through the aisles, I ask each one individual questions to help gauge their speaking ability. Some speak well, others do not. Their names are Helen, Robert, Thomas and Jack. English names, given to them by a former teacher.

In another more advanced class, 35 much more proficient speakers arrive. They are well behaved and listen attentively. I am relieved because after just 45 minutes of continual whispering in Chinese during the first class I am emotionally drained a little.

With chalk in hand and a wet eraser in the other, we lay ground rules and I interview them. One of them mentions that his mother is a doctor, another mentions that her father is a teacher. I challenge another to a game of basketball. In all, this class is much more fluid than the other. I am relieved to have my own classroom for the advanced classes. One that I can make my own.

In all, 18 classes a week. 45 minutes a piece and one English Corner on top of that. Taking on students to tutor is another possibility but let's see how much energy I have. The schedule I have is large but pales in comparison to the rigors of the students schedule. Up each day at 6:20am...8 classes, sometimes 3 more in the evening. Mandatory exercise classes, eye exercise classes, nap time and study time. They receive about 3 hours a day for meals and free time. Lights out around 10pm.

This is the life of a machine bent on excellence. Rudimentary and rote memorization. Some would view it as robotic, others as competitive. I see it as both. Of all the things in China, the school system seems to be the only one that is structured. To a tee. Bell by bell.