Paradigm Shift

“The Captain heard it and took action, only when he realized he didn’t have any choice.”

In rereading over my injustice essay, I was quick to locate a similarity between the attitude, actions and motives I spoke of, and the work of Stephen R. Covey in his article on Co-production.

In this article, the foundation of coproduction, or the relationship between the non-market world and the market economy as it was described, is applicable not just to stewards of public policy and law, but also to the individual, cast of characters and stakeholders, hoping to create paradigm shifts on the horizon.

So, the question I posed was, “What part of this potential paradigm shift am I a part of?”

The answer, in my opinion, was that I represent the terra firma. A member of civil society, who through his own actions, and more importantly, the telling of that story, can help to produce a paradigm shift.

You could say this is just a more elaborate way of telling someone that I am creating a butterfly effect. However, paradigm shifts do not come without struggle, which eventually fall on the shoulders of individuals and the choices they make. In this case, my choice was to either continue to live a life in which I was suffering in silence or embrace the true person that I am.

Imagine if that were the case for all human beings. Imagine that by individuals embracing that they were, gay, lesbian or transgendered, but also American, and entitled to pursue happiness the same as their fellow Americans, how their message would grow only brighter to the legislators, opponents and others on such serious debates as DADT, and federal recognition of Same-Sex marriage. Wouldn’t then, and only then, change be inevitable?

In respects to being part of that terra firma, I experienced not only a personal change in belief systems and advocacy, but I realized that opponents of my constitutional, legal and personal beliefs represented something of a lighthouse as well, although there were stark differences.

Like myself, they represent the non market economy, and thus we have competing interests. These individuals are unwilling to budge based on generations of, “family” values, public policy and law, informed through, at least to some extent, prejudice. It seems then, that to me, the lighthouse that shines the brightest would inevitably create the most impact.

So, it is without a doubt, that if our goal is to indeed change the way society thinks about the ways gays and lesbians are treated by the law, then we must induce a paradigm shift amongst those boats being beckoned to the harbor, and that starts with the individual.

The individual must be willing to change their own course against injustice. Often times, just admitting that injustice, prejudice, racism or oppression is occurring towards them is the first step. From there, the message grows louder, until, hopefully, the ships approaching have no choice, but to change course.

Deeper

Think of the words you use, when you speak of the cold air.
Its briskness and briefness that chills us to the bone.

Think of how it funnels past our ears, and blazes our cheeks.
Burning us and chapping our features. Reddening our lips.

And through its briefness, we never think about how that
wind started out high in the sky, over the tropics.
Warm and moist, above an opaque sea.

And churned into clouds and rains that were whipped across
farmlands, and deserts and cityscapes.

And ended up, staying, and cooling, and rushing past our faces.
So briefly, on a city street, in the darkness of winter.

And that is all we feel, the sting, and the sensation of the cold.
Without ever understanding, that there is more to its story.

Annoyances of May 4, 2009

So, I am considering staying in China. Strike that. I want to stay in China. I mean, I really want to stay here. However, I am unsure how to facilitate this.

I have fallen in love with a lot of things about this country. From its seemingly endless wonders to its open spaces. It is hard to imagine a freer experience than this.

I find myself so scared of going back to the unknown. Not knowing what is in store. Readjusting. Getting use to the system of American life.

Ups and Downs

So what are the ups and downs of the last several weeks in China?

I am reminded that I need to write this because I have missed the last several weekly requirements that I should have submitted to my Field Director. Well, here it is...enjoy the rampage!

China is down when the weather is down. The weather in Changsha can be so abusively depressing that you could hang yourself from a ceiling fan in your classroom. EVERYTHING IS GRAY. The sky, the walls, the desks, the floors. Not to mention it can get bone-chillingly cold and numb and awful here. Just awful. But then....drumroll...

God can shine down on this place and whisk it away into a beautiful 78 degree day with birds, and a light breeze, and a refreshing afternoon shower or midnight thunderstorm, that reminds me of Florida.

Then, down again, when the KIDS JUST DON'T WANT TO FUCKING LEARN ANYTHING! They don't care, they never, never, never stop talking. Now, I repeat, repeat, repeat myself. I feel like I have almost busted my spleen from speaking so loudly in class...my tummy aches because I have to use such big attentive statements for the whole class to hear me....and then...

China is up again, because you can act like a complete fool in front of 60 students and IT WORKS! They love you. They love you and THEY LEARN. They want to learn. You've got them hooked...then....

China is down again because you can be intensely, INTENSELY LONELY...and then its...

Back up, because random neighbors will buy your dinner and take you fishing or feed you for free 3 nights in a row....and then

It is back down, because it takes a long time to get anywhere in this city....but then it's...

Back up, because you get there, and there is always something new....then it can

Pull you down because your liaison or school administration just doesn't really care about you, or the fact that you are 10,000 miles away from your home, or that you actually have a soul....then you can

Be uplifted at the fact that maybe you have made an impact and then you can be...

Disappointed at the fact that maybe no one cares when you leave...but you can

Always have faith that you have been blessed to walk here, in these crowded, dirty streets, and experience a cataclysm of emotion and feel...feel like you are free and living your life.